Sunday, July 12, 2009

Unsuccessful Children's Cartoons

Okay, I'm not going to lie to you... these are all real cartoons that never aired.

Plot: A small group of anthropomorphic salt shakers wage war against normal pepper shakers in a small house and every episode they accidently kill the owners in horrific mishaps.

Title: Shaking Down the House
Alternate Title: Sodium Kills

Plot: Three girls tour around Canada as musicians. Everywhere they stop, they have to solve the murder of a pedestrian (that they killed on accident). The ghost of the pedestrian chases them at the end of every episode. One of the girls uses her ghost whispering skills to convince it to listen to them play a crappy pop song and afterwards they play laser tag. At the end of the episode one of the girls uses her slaying skills to kill the ghost.

Title: We Know What We Did Last Summer
Alternate Title: Canada is Weird

Plot: A young white girl starts high school and joins what she thinks is a crime fighting team. Turns out she's part of an intercity gang. She's given a new mission every episode that usually involves her dealing with rival gangs, the mafia, Oprah's Book Club, the Triad, Wal-Mart, and Irish potato farmers. And when ever she gets into a compromising position, footage of Lindsay Lohan out on the town is shown. (Kinda like a reverse Lizzie McGuire)

Title: I'm Going... Downtown
Alternate Title: Working Girl

(Note: I wrote this a long time ago and it makes me feel embarrassed.)

1 comment:

Lisa said...

reverse lizzy macguire LMAO
-Lisa (physicistlisa)