Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Spider-Man 3 Review

In honor of this poorly made movie, I present you with a poorly written review (with intentional spelling errors and bad grammar).

"Campy costumes can't disguise the incoherent plot, confused performances and lame script that send this star vehicle spiralling downward." This was said about "Batman and Robin" and I think it applies to this horrible movie.
The reason I watched Spider-Man 3 again, after suffering through it the first time, is not a good reason. Ay felt like I needed to be punished and since I don't keep knifes in my room, I went on Netflix and watched Spider-Man 3 instantly. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences in recent memory. It was worst then watching little kids throw other people's mail down the sewers... actually that's really fun to watch.
I'd murder Spider-Man 3 if I could figure out how to murder a moovie. When I do figure it out, I'll film myself murdering it then I'll post the video on youtube. The video will get a million views and I'll repeat the process with Howard the Duck.
The movie is bad... It's My Mother the Car bad. The characters don't think in this movie because they're all retarded (well at least Harry is. That weird smirk he's got throughout most of the movie screams retarded!) And the special effects are the purest of all the craps. I felt embarrassed whenever the special effects were being used. O and the scene where Peter dances around actually made me feel like throwing up a little (seriously).
Spider-Man 3 should have been more like this.

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