I was supposed to write a dramatic scene between a father and a son for my screenwriting class. They were suppose to be arguing about what the son wanted to do with his life. The father wanted him to join the family business but the son wanted to be a rock star. I was stuck and couldn't get myself to write anything but then my mom said, "Remember what Felicia Day told you? 'Be brave and write a bad first draft.'" So I said, "Okay fine. I'll write the worst draft possible!" And I did.
(Disclaimer: Felicia Day is not responsible in anyway for this abomination of a first draft.)
FATHER and SON are in the living room arguing.
I told you dad. My band was caught selling coke to
school children but since we have such an awesome
sound we can’t get arrested in this town.
Our police men are so corrupt. I remember seeing them
beat up a baby raccoon.
That wasn’t a baby raccoon. It was a tiny person that
escaped from prison.
He was a cute little bandit wasn’t?
Sure… So are you going to let me borrow the car? We
really need it to smuggle some more cocaine in from
Canada? Canada sucks!
Son turns off the TV.
Dad would you please listen to me!
Turn Cops back on! You know that’s my favorite show.
Dad please! I need you to let me commit a crime with
I thought I told you to forget your rock star dreams!
I always stop listening whenever you mention that so
technically I’ve never heard you say that.
Your way out of line there buddy!
No you’re out of line!
Okay that’s it. I’m gonna blow up the house!
I’m down with that.
Father blows out the pilot light on the stove and turns on the gas. Then Father lights a match and throws it on the floor of the kitchen.
Okay here we go!
Father and Son both run out the front door as their itty bitty house blows up taking out the entire neighborhood with it.