Wednesday, July 1, 2009

94 Awful Short Movie Reviews: Part Applesauce

Nancy Drew | Julia Robert is so old but thankfully we have Emma Roberts to take her place. My favorite line in the movie is, "And kids will love it cause they can make chocolate pasta!"

The Fall | WTF! Awesome! Lee Pace! It's seriously so amazing that it made me go blind but then it healed me!

Nim's Island | Abigail Breslin and Jodie Foster in the same film! A+ Oh yeah and that guy who starred in 300 is in it... whatever!

Meet the Robinsons | Its was terrible but that was expected. The only part that wasn't terrible was this:
Grandpa Bud: I think my wife's baking cookies.
[opens a door; his wife is dancing in a disco dance floor]
Grandpa Bud: Bake them cookies, Lucille!

An American Haunting | It was creative but not creative enough to make me squeal like a little baby panda.

No Reservations | Abigail Breslin is in it so it gets an A+

S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale | It was creative and interesting but it had one-to-many actors from the CW! Daveigh Chase was awesome in it. Sadly that actress who played that super slut in that movie that was called Showgirls that sucked is in it...

Spring Breakdown | Its like a cornucopia of my favorite actresses... and oh yeah, Rachel Dratch is in it as well. I'm just kidding! She's cool too! Amber Tamblyn! Parker Posey! Missi Pyle! Amy Poehler! Sarah Hagan! Jane Lynch! Rachel Dratch!

Superman Doomsday | It made me cry like a little bitch because of one little scene that I don't want to think about cause it'll make me cry again.

The Thing | It was really cool in a really gross way.

The Muppets Take Manhattan | I'm not really sure what to say but here's a quote from the Simpsons:
Bart: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but man… (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.

Empire Records | It's an awesome movie with a bunch of music in it that I don't care about.

Muppets from Space | Well... its got muppets in it and some of them are from space!

College Road Trip | Raven-Symoné can make any movie enjoyable not matter how awful it is!

Mermaids | Its got Christina Ricci, Winona Ryder, and Cher! A+

Bram Stoker's Dracula | I watched it because Winona Ryder was in it... Winona Ryder!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

my personal favorites were your reviews for american haunting and nancy drew