Here it is! The moment that Neptunegrand may have been waiting for... It's the next bitch (I misspelled that on purpose) of awful short movie reviews.
The Thirteenth Floor | It was ambitious but fell flat, kind of like girl scouts.
Heathers | Alright, that's what I'm talking about! Winona Ryder!
Bridge to Terabithia | It made me cry like a little bitch!
Sex and Death 101 | Winona Ryder was underused but it was okay... It didn't make a lot of sense though.
Dazed and Confused | I was neither Dazed nor Confused but Milla Jocovich was seriously underused. Hey, that rhymes!
Mulholland Drive | It started out as something you might see on network television... then she opened up that box which lead to a strange HBOesque world!
Bless the Child | It was awful but it wasn't terrible... no wait... it was terrible.
Smiley Face | It made me want to smoke pot!
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk WIth Me | Twin Peaks gets HBOed!
Wristcutters: A Love Story | It made me want to kill myself! (Note: That's actually a good thing.)
City of Ember | It was a good adaption of a very weird ass book!
The Great Muppet Caper | I liked that part were they dressed up a guy as Miss Piggy in order to show her riding a motorcycle.
Stephanie Daley | Wow! Amber Tamblyn and Tilda Swinton!
Quaratine | Hooray for Jennifer Carpenter! It was actually pretty scary and got kind of freaky deaky.
Spiral | I could totally relate to the main character which might not be a good thing. Plus Amber Tamblyn!
Bride and Prejudice | This movie could totally kick your ass!
The Spiderwick Chronicles | Its well made but it totally cements Freddie Highmore as the male version of Dakota Fanning.
"Okay, so we need a young male actor... Freddie Highmore!"
"But wouldn't it be easier to find twins who can act?"
"Your fired!"
What's Cooking? | I can't remember what was cooking but it was a damn fine movie.
The Changeling | It creeped me out a lot... just like Christopher Walken!
The Devil's Backbone | It was really good but I didn't really enjoy it that much... probably because I failed Spanish.
Lars and the Real Girl | It was awesome and I could totally relate to the main character... yes, its true, I'm very screwed up. In fact I'm so screwed up I can even relate to Dexter Morgan.
Thank You for Smoking | Aaron Eckhart has such an innocent looking face. If I saw him rob a bank I'd lie and say someone else did it... oh yeah, the movie was pretty good too.
Waitress | It was pretty great but I wanted to punch Keri Russell... because of Felicity.
That's all for now bitches!
Friday, June 19, 2009
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